What did the brick say to the wall? Nothing, as they are both inanimate objects that lack knowledge and the sense to speak.

What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

What did Electra give her Dad for his birthday? Head. That's why her name is Electra.

Your mom's so fat, she's is bigger than the average person.

Roses are red Violets are violet Don't know why people are saying they're blue

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a car

What happened to the boy after his life saving surgery? He died of an unrelated disease.

Hickory Dickory Dock. 2 mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one.. and the second one got away with major injuries, dying in a hospital three days later. The clock is now serving its 8th year in jail out of 25 years, and does not regret anything.

how do you get a blonde to stop following you? file a restraining order.

Q:how do you make a rockstar cry? A: hit him with a breifcase

So a guy with a machine gun walks into a bank, makes a deposite and leaves.

Vote this down and get DOXED

I'm currently on a seafood diet That is, I only eat seafood.

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your son has been in a car accident and has died.

Why was a black person on the run, being trailed by police officers? They were all late to work; their work places were coincidentally situated near each other.

What's the difference between a poodle and a noodle? Scaboodle!

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit on the way there.

TWO ROADS DIVERGED IN A WOOD

A Korean, a Japanese, a Muslim, a Christian, a Jew, a Chinese and a member of Isis are enjoying a friendly game of poker. The Korean man kills everyone because he has a life threatening illness that prevents him from using his brain. The worst news though was that the he lost the game of poker.

why did John fall off his bike I don't know I was not there it was a rumor at school

Do you want to hear a shit joke? Stuart.

roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and grass is green due to the fact that there is chlorophyll in it.

The guy told a funny joke. Why wasn't the other guy laughing? Because he was having a heart attack

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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