Covert trance, black Ops, and something I kinda made up myself. The first two are basically using suggestions without the victim being aware of it, that is how that famous bank robber that just asks nicely for all the cash and gets it succeeds. The other is tricking the "allmighty" subconcious and again, my own invention people claim its called "this and that", I know, because I coined most of the terms. Anyway, you put people into a deep state of trance, you tell them to take a step forward into the sea, and well, you actually led them down the top of a skyscraper or something fun... "Now... Suck on the lollipop I have between my, okay ill stop"

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Why did the guy hate the man that said,"I respect you?'' Because the man was Hitler.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? It didn't. Anyone who would believe that is a complete moron.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face" To which the horse replies by trampling him to death for making rude remarks about his face.

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A zebra and a giraffe are out in a safari and they see some humans. And then the cow, was drinking, the man was milking the drink, when the giraffe was going to buy some milk. She said, the was yeah okay.

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You tie a noose around your neck, you jump off a cliff and before you hit the ground you shoot yourself in the head.

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Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

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Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

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so a blind man walks into a bar, then a chair, then a table.

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What's worse than a terrible joke? A worse joke.

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what happens when you put nina and harry in the same room. Nina will die instantly of shock

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What did the black person say to the other black person? Im really white, I just want to fell what its like to be black.

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I used to have an ugly,black and disabled man as a friend. However, he had a very nasty personality so we are no longer friends.

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What did the black man say to the jew and the blonde girl as they walked to the car. Shotgun.

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How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's an obscure number you've probably never heard of.

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Whats funnier than a barrel full of dead babies? two barrels full of dead babies.

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What happened to the baby bird? It fell out the nest

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Just found out that it doesn't work.

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Why was the Mexican running through the desert? A group of bandits had kidnapped his family, raped his sister, drowned his mother, decapitated his father, and now they were coming for him. They are coming...

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Roses are red violets are blue... Only not really. Actually light is reflected off them and these colors show up soo....

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I saw Scarface uncut last weekend. It was called Face

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Q: A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? A:They both take turns, because they are driving across the country and it would be hard for one of them to drive the entire way.

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two kids find a condom so they decide to show their mum the mum snatched it off them saying never to touch one of them again the kids went to their room "Mum sounded pretty angry about that thing "Lucky we didnt tell her about the yohgurt we drank out of it

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2 men were friends 1 went to hell The other went to heaven

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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