Roses are red violets are blue Timmy what are doing with that gun?! Bang....

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What's big, purple, and smells like children? Barney

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What happened to the boat that sank? Everyone on it died

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whats the difference between 69 and 6.9 theres a period in the middle

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A man named Hank, from Idaho takes a trip to Michigan. When he arrives, he rents a house and starts a meth lab. Hank is spending 7 years in jail. Hank was charged with stealing.

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Why did the boy get teased? Because his name was spelt wrong (k)urtis

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Whats funnier then a dead baby? A lot of things.

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A duck walks into a bar and buys a drink. When the bartender comes up he says put it on my bill

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If life gives you melons, you have dyslexia.

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Why did the man have sex with other men? Because he was homosexual.

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How many seeds does a watermelon have? None. It is seedless.

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What's worse than having no coffee at the office? Looking out the window on the 100th floor and seeing the cockpit of a Boeing 767.

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A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

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"Knock knock." "Come in."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. That's what she said

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Is it colder on a farm than in the winter?

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Why did the boy let go of his red ballon? Because he was hit by a car

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Why did the fireman die? For various reasons,one was because he was burnt alive.

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Person #1: Hello captain obvious. Person #2: Hello.

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Why did the monkey ride a bike? Because he was taken from his natural environment, abused for years and forced to ride a bike.

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why did the girl fall of the swing someone threw a refrigerator at her

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Everyone is different, but there are two of me, therefore I am unique. I have 72 different personalities, which all think, act and behave the same, all have my same name, but its still different to have such a thing eh? No I am not asking, I just added that weird little lightbulb symbol after "eh". People buy my book, its full of this nonsense... Its named "Are you left winged, or wrong winged" The book that has nothing to do with politics, and everything to do with politicians non existent sexlife! (seriously I had a book signing today... It was weird, people like stood in line twenty Signatures... AND PEOPLE ARE ALL GOING "HEY ARE YOU THAT GUY FROM HORSEHEAD?" Nero -WHO THE FUCK! IS THAT GUY ON HORSEHEAD?

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Why did the little boy fall of his bicycle? It was the first time he road without his training wheels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops