"This is the best of all possible anti-jokes," said Pangloss.

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Q: What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? A: You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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Why did Little Billy trip? Because I shot his foot off.

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Just got cancer: YOLO!! -sad face-

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's nothing else I want to say

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Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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Did you hear about the black kid that had a gun? Yeah, it's a.20 gage that his father bought him for Christmas so that he could go hunting together

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What has 4 black legs, a green back, and will kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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Why does the Batman theme song have 'na na na na na na na na' in it so many times? I guess Batman really likes sodium. Or maybe his record player's broken.

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How do you get santa to stop delivering presents? Kill your parents.

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What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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A wife asks her husband to treat her like she's special. So he tells her, "Gooooooooooo... Maaaaaaaaaaaaake... Meeeeeeee.... Aaaaaa.... Saaaaaaaandwitch

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What's worse than being shot? Being shot twice.

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Four guys are on an airplane. The plane lands safely and the four guys return to their families.

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Kid 1 Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken. Kid 2 Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys. Kid 1 You know what? I think you're right Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know; I was too busy masturbating.

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why did bob fall off the swing Because he got hit by a microwave

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whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

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What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

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Your momma's so fat she ate oranges and coffe

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knock , knock That Was The Same Mistake That Ann Frank Made.

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Why did Jimmy get off of the park bench? he wanted candy from the man in the white van

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Woof.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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