Why did the pony say neigh? That`s all he can say

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Brother : you see this hand Sister : yes Brother : if you dont leave ill slap you with it Sister : no you wont !SLAP!!!!

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A man walks into an illegal brothel. He is a cop. He takes them back to the police station and questions them in a completely asexual manner.

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Why is it irrelevant whether someone is a twat or not? Love your neighbour.

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What did the duck say to the other duck? Something, But us humans don't speak there language to understand

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I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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How do you know if someone is vegan? They'll tell you.

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What do you get when you put Star Wars and Disney together? A Bad Sequel

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roses are blue violets are red and just like you they're messed up in the head

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Your mom is so fat that she turns "One Size Fits All" to "One Size Fits Most"

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Why did Harriet Tubman have to take the underground railroad? Because she was a fugly slut.

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Jesus, a frog, and Faith Hill walk into a bar. The frog says, "What is this, a joke?"

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roses are red pickles are green i like your legs and whats in between

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Knock, Knock! Who's there? Hatch! Hatchoo! Bless you!

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A hat

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Why did the cow jump over the moon? To see outer space

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A hipster walks into a bar you've never heard of.

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01101110 01101001 01101110 01100101 00100000 01100101 01101100 01100101 01110110 01100101 01101110 translate here http://binarytranslator.com/

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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I meant to state that I threatened to kill him unless he refused to state that I broke his knees (and broke his wrists, I forgot to mention that too, such misery... ...Give a real man a chance here, its not every day I have to kill my mother... But you still wont hear me whining about it, asked my wife if she forgave me if I spent the rest of the day smirking, after all my mother "had visions" where my wife was Satan, which is fun, since I was also Satan the day I was born... Because my name is Nero... A NAME SHE GAVE ME! Still, not very dignifying getting the shit beat out that old hag because she was on some blend of angel dust, and still not so fun killing her by biting half her neck off... ...Literally not so fun, kinda fun? You bet, tasted disgusting, watching her choke to death was...Lets just say I have shared enough joy with you for one day.

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tell ur mom i love her before i die this would have been a better ending to the tintanic

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A moose walks into a store, walking up to an employee he says "Where are the potatoes?" The employee replies "Isle 5." The moose thanks the employee and heads off to find Isle 5. Upon reaching isle 5- he finds no potatoes.

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What do you call a fat black guy in KFC? A guy who likes KFC.

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One Direction???? Gifted singers???? HA HA HA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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