Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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what did the Spanish priest say to the Ukranian gynocologist? *fart*

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

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Why did the fireman wear suspenders? To keep his pants up.

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What is the difference between Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers? One's name is Jason, and the other's name is Michael.

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a little boy told his friend he failed a test.. the friend replied that his parents r goin to kill him... to save himself the suffering ...the boy hung himself in his closet

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I have a gun BANG!

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What did the Spanish immigrant say? Olah.

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Yo mama so dumb, she studied for a blood test.

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A woman is about to buy a house and is faced with a difficult decision. She must choose which house she'll buy the next day. During the night she thinks about it and the next morning she has made a rational decision. What house did she choose ? TRICK QUESTION - Women can't make rational decisions.

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Where did all the time go? In a recent study, 100% of all time, all systems go.

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What do you get if you cross a chicken and a potato? Answer- Chicken tasted potato

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

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What's black, white,and red all over? A crime scene where a black and white man were brutally murdered by a psychopath that is still on the loose and could be killing someone else.

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What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They brutally whipped and tortured her.

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What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

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Q. What's funnier than an anti-joke? A. Thousands of anti-jokes, compiled on a worldwide network.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sargeant John Smith mam. I regret to inform you that your husband died in the line of fire - I'm sorry.

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What do you call a black man jumping out of a plane? A skydiver

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Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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Why was Jeremy slow? He wasnt fast.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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