Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone? A. He got attacked by a dog.

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What did the man say to the man? Awkward.

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What type of cheese is not your cheese? The cheese that belongs to another person.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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a fat girl walks into McDonalds....

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What's the number one killer in America? Death.

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The white guy did it!

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A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender immediately tells him to leave as they don't allow pets.

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What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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why did Sussie fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock whose there not Sussie

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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I'm so popular... That I am friends with many people...

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she dropped out of college.

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What is white, and hurts when it falls from a tree? -tom

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? It was a tomato.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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A man walks into a bar and slowly draws a pistol and kills 5 people.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have multiple personality disorder, NO YOU DON'T!

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What's worse than pushing a baby off a cliff?........ Standing at the bottom with a pitchfork....!

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A bass player walks past a bar. What? It could happen.

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What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

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A man sees a hitchhiker on a road. The man crashes because he was not watching the road.

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How did the little boy break his arm? He was trampleed by elephants.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops