What's the difference between Elmo and Cookie Monster? One of them doesn't listen to Michelle Obama

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What did the black man say to the jew and the blonde girl as they walked to the car. Shotgun.

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What does 1 black person on the moon mean? A problem. What do 2 black people on the moon mean? A problem. What does every black person on the world on the moon mean? It's still a problem.

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"Have you got any Saturday jobs available?" "Yes"

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Want to hear a joke? I hope not because I don't know any.

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

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roses are red, violates are blue, you left me for David, I am about to kill you *bam* *bam**bam*

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Why was Uncle Monty's head damn tasty? Because he shoved it up a horses arse when it needed a shit.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a Sociopath with a very violent history.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet, so he/she can put it down.

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What do you say to a homeless man sat in a train station? That there is a homeless shelter around the corner.

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If you'd turn to page 43 you will find the homework. Have a good weekend!

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Q. If you're paddling up river and you lose three tires, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? A. Purple because ice cream has no bones.

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Q: are you gay? A: maybe

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A man walked into a bar. He stayed for a bit and had a good time.

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What did the cow say to the other cow when the boy asked him for something to drink? Probably MOOO! Considering that cows cant say anything except for that

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Mel Gibson is awoken by the ringing of his telephone. He proceeds to have a nice conversation with his wife.

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Why is a bird when it flies? Because the higher it goes the much.

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What did the Jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

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Why is there air? To blow up basketballs

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roses are red violets are blue daffodils are yellow pansies are pink

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ....Because based on modern mathematics the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

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what did the man say to the sad woman? go make ma a sammich before i hit you again! the women refused and was hit again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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