- Anti Joke

why did suzy fall off the swing? she has no arms, knock knock who's there? Not suzy!

A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

A forty-year-old man forces a young child to strip down and take a shower. The child screams and cries, but the man persists angily. He then carries the child into his bed. The child pleads, "Help! Mom, make him stop!" The mother yells back, "Just listen to him. He's your father and it's past your bedtime." This is a common night-time routine for parents with their first child

Q. How do you make your neighbor mad? A. Run his kids over.

A mum and a dad were having guests round for dinner. The daughter overheard them arguing. Dad was calling mum a btch and mum was calling dad a bstard. The daughter asked them what it meant and they just said, "oh, it just means ladies and gentlemen". Later, when mum was doing her makeup, she dropped it and said oh "sht". Daughter asked what it meant and mum replked "it's just another word for makeup". After that, dad dropped the turkey and said "oh, Fck!" Daughter asked what it meant and he replied "its another word for cooking". When the guests arrived, the daughter answered the door, and said "hello btches and bstards. Mums upstairs stuffing sht on her face and dads in the kitchen fcking the turkey".

How to find if your overweight? Ask your friend to make a big clay volcano, out of baking soda and vinegar. While its erupting if you're too busy eatin five course dinner. FAT

I've got 99 problems and they're all stressing me out and causing me to be very unhappy.

There's a white guy and a black guy, on a bridge. Of corse the idiot white guy jumps off. But the black guy yells, I NEVER LIKED U!!!!! Later that day the police showed up and asked wat happened. The black guy said, U GOT NO EVIDENCE!!! The police say true and walk away. Then go to Dunkin Donuts and get a triple chocolate donnut and coffee. They lived happily ever after. Except for the white guy. :)

Reminding you of your religion. The army led by God attacked their foes at the mountains, yet had to flee because the enemy had plated steel wagons. Moral: Either God cant beat steel, or he was not there at all, its your call gents, because reading Ave Maria 50 times each time you sin, without reading the whole thing, does not even make you a Christian you FUCK (yes I can curse, you cannot)

There are two muffins in a oven, the first muffin is chocolate chip and the second muffin is blueberry.

Why did the student fail his test? Because he has AIDS darragh hamilton

roses are red, violates are blue, you left me for David, I am about to kill you bam *bam**bam*

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a Sociopath with a very violent history.

What does 1 black person on the moon mean? A problem. What do 2 black people on the moon mean? A problem. What does every black person on the world on the moon mean? It's still a problem.

Want to hear a joke? I hope not because I don't know any.

If you'd turn to page 43 you will find the homework. Have a good weekend!

What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

"Have you got any Saturday jobs available?" "Yes"

What did the black man say to the jew and the blonde girl as they walked to the car. Shotgun.

What do you say to a homeless man sat in a train station? That there is a homeless shelter around the corner.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet, so he/she can put it down.

Why was Uncle Monty's head damn tasty? Because he shoved it up a horses arse when it needed a shit.

I was gonna clean my room. But then my mom did it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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