- Anti Joke

Roses are blue Violets are red This isn't humor The Hell's wrong with you?

Whats long, hard, and makes a girl excited? A penis.

Whats worse then the Holocaust? Chlamydia.

How do you run faster than a cheetah? Cut off its legs.

Q:whats the difference between grass and a car? A:They all have wheels, except the grass

A man walked into a bar. He stayed for a bit and had a good time.

So a guy walks in to a bar.... and orders a beer.

What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

Knock Knock! Who's There? Tourettes Kid. Touret- FUCK SHIT!

How do you shock a child? Attach a metal pole to them while there is a storm

Roses are red, bushes are red, trees are red....i set your garden on fire.

What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels.

It's red or yellow but most likely grey, and when its hit your eye you are dead? A train :)

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? Dead babies are not sports cars

Why did the man tell the child to get into the van? They were late for a field trip.

Hey, speaking of anti jokes, there is much in the bible that facinates me, but that I find to be... Very... Ilogical, but then again I know a lot about the spiritual to open the the possibility to the (maybe) fact that the answers lie in the spiritual realm or you know whatever you prefer to call it. But you know, God has existed for eternities eternal etc, forever, and only some few thousand years ago he decided to let there be light? Kinda makes sense to why he was such a hardass in the first testament, I mean wow it must have been depressive for eternal eternities until he created light huh? Maybe he slept as many other Gods tend to do in a theological perspective. The other that baffles me completely: God has an enemy known as Sin, that is so powerful that he must sacrifice his own son in order to keep it away? I mean has Sin ever sacrificed anything to good? In that way they would be opposites and not God sarcificing stuff as humans sacrificed stuff animals (and almost a son Iscaac right? Because you know God and Satan where kinda chummy and enjoyed betting and good sport... My viewpoint at least) And Now I just repeat myself, but if Light was Gods first invention, who created voice? Was it part of his being? Why was light not part of his being? Is light not the path to God? "The Light"? Its horsehead Network and I do not expect much of this site sincerely, but if you find the time, the care, the love and Guidance of God provides (yeah I am appealing to your Good Christian side) then please find it in your Jesus filled heart to leave me what you think is missing or perhaps I do not understand at all. And if I ever become a Christian again, ill tell God and Jesus that you where the person that got me there, put in a good word for eternal life huh? Get you and maybe even your mother and father that made you that kind with Gods guidance a nice V.I.P place up there huh? If there is a God out there, he loves all the same yeah, but he keeps favorites, I mean those that suffer eternally in hell... I don't like questioning what I do not understand to a certain tangible degree, but does he do this with the same love he treats those that go to heaven?

how do you wake up lady gaga? set her alarm for a reasonable hour

if you have two gay people, would their kid be gay too? oh wait....

when there's trouble lurking in your neighbourhood, who you gonna call? The local authorities.

Did you hear the one about the Mexican that went to college? All his life, Juan wanted to get a decent education, but was unable to due to his family's low income. So Juan worked hard all his life, and got a part-time job. He made a little cash here, a little there. He also studied vigorously, getting a 33 on his ACT. All that work eventually paid off, and Juan was eventually accepted at Princeton University. Juan is now a highly paid Neurological surgeon, and has saved countless lives

How do you make a plumber mad? You tell him that his princess is in another castle about a thousand times over 25 years.

Knock knock. Who's there? The Police. Your family is dead...

Why did the skeleton cross the road? It didn't. Anyone who would believe that is a complete moron.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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