What did the father give to his daughter? AIDS.

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What happens if you come across an elephant in the jungle?. You wipe it up What happens if an elephants comes across you in the jungle? Swim

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dont be afraid of lard squeezing cause really its just me teasing

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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What do you call a black man on a rope swing? Usually whatever his first name is, but if he goes by a nickname you should use that

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What's worse then 10 babies nailed to 10 trees? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

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A Mexican, German, and a black man walk into a bar... They promptly exit due to the access amount of tobacco fumes in the air.

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I got put through anger management when I was a child it made me mad.

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What has hands but isn't alive? A dead person.

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What do you get when you mix red and yellow together? rellow

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What did the paper say to the pen? Nothing, they are inanimate objects!

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked

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Why did the man wipe his bum with a sweat-shirt? Because they were all out of toilet paper

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A fat man orders a pizza. Then after eating it, he gets a eart attack due to his high cholesterol and lack of exercise

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What did the white male say to the black male who had just robbed a bank? I'm glad you have a reliable source of income to feed yourself and your family

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I went up to my friend and she said to me, "Foop." I calmly went to the nearest teacher and told her that Susie is having a mental breakdown again

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roses are red violets are blue clean up that **** or no sex 4 u

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there once was a little boy who lived in a little house with his little parents who ate little food. one day the boy went on a website called antijokes and he started to read a joke, by the time he had gotten to the end of the joke he realized that there was no punchline but it was very lenghty and quite pointless.

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What do you call it when you have sex with a black man? Sex

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Why couldn't the T-Rex give anyone a high five? Cuz he's dead.

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office, naked but wrapped in Saran Wrap. The Doctor takes one look at him and says, "I can clearly see your nuts."

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Whats worst than being stuck in a cage with one blonde? Being stuck in a cage with four blondes.

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What did the chair say to the guy? Nothing, as it is a chair and chairs can't talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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