How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Midgets are capable of doing an average person's everyday task. Unless they have autism, then they might as well die.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to vote off obama

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What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are finally spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinical depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What do you call a group of black men jumping off a building? Chocolate Rain

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2 guys are best friends from birth, one goes crazy and kills the others family and feel hatred towards each other for eternity.

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What did the black boy get for christmas? An Xbox.

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How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? 10 because they're so darn stupid!

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Knock knock. Whose there. Uninterupting black lady. Uninter.... MMMMMMMHHHHMMMM. Black ladies never listen

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Libraries.

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knock knock whos there? your mother your mother who? ...........what?

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A homeless man is hungry. He then kills a college professor and has a nice dinner

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Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

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Whats worse then the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple

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A guy with no legs walks into a bar.

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A murder, a cheater, and a liar walk into a bar..... Woah the aptriots must be in town -Rocco Tufano

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I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

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what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

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what did the pregnant mexiCAN woMAN say while she was giving birth? A LOT of curse words

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Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and an avacado? Michael Jackson molested a 12 year old boy

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Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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