What did the English teacher write on a sheet of assignment criteria? The assignment criteria. Plus, she spelled "millennium" wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

thumb_up thumb_down +143

How Long is a Chinese name.

thumb_up thumb_down +97

what did the schizophrenic get for his birthday? new friends

thumb_up thumb_down +69

What do you call two Ethiopians standing side-by-side? Friends

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Once upon a time there was a very lonely man. He was kind, strong, handsome, smart, and basically everything that was good and that a girl wanted. Well, one day, through all his immense loneliness, he decided that it was time that he got into a relationship. Knowing that he deserved a competent and pure woman, he went to a local church to search for his perfect match. That night, he took home with him the most beautiful and purest of all the women in the church, brought her to his room, and whipped out his junk on her face.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Man 1: youre going to die Man 2: why? Man 1: everyone dies

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What happened to the public server who went to the 5 dollar brothel? He contracted syphilis and died several months later.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Your mother who?" "Really?"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are gray, violets are gray, everything's gray, bitch im a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

You might be redneck if you are... Indian

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's yellow and has six legs ? A cat. I may be wrong about the color and the legs, I'm color-blind and I can't count.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: How did the blind girl on the tight rope die? A: She fell because she has Parkinsons

thumb_up thumb_down +13

your mama is so fat that she weighs 261 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

thumb_up thumb_down +11

QUESTION: Why do black people do so poorly in school? ANSWER: Some statistics point to genetic disparities in intelligence between races, but others say it is due to more complicated social factors.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops