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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing. I lied about the deer.

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When life hands you lemons hand them back because you don't like lemons

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What's green, red, and goes fifty miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I got a terminal disease and I'm going to die in six months. Mom if you're reading this I love you. Take good care of Joey.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartenders says, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because horses do not comprehend English. He then becomes startled by his surroundings and bolts out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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What do you get when 100 sex-crazed gays are in the same room? About a quart.

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What did the man say to the man? Awkward.

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Know what's worse than being publicly embarrassed in front of your crush? Jeffrey dahmer

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clamidia

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what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

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What is white a can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

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You're mama's so fat: she has to wear plus size clothing

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A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

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What did the Pikachu say to the Charmander? Pika pika pikachu pika!

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thumbs up!

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Whats worse then the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

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A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate flowers and am making fun of them by messing up this originally beautiful poem about those repulsive manisfestations of pure evil.

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What type of cheese is not your cheese? The cheese that belongs to another person.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

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What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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