How do you occupy a blonde for hours ? Give her a long list of stuff to do.

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What do you get when you cross a pelican with a mountain goat? It's hard to say.

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How do you kill Michael Jackson? You don't he is dead.

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Knock Knock Who's There? I am. I am who? I think someone has contracted amnesia.

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How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

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Chuck Norris can watch TV.

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What do you call a black man and woman with a little white girl? A Family.

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What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

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Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

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Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Christians

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How do you make a blond to shoot herself? You give her a gun and than ask her to pull the trigger.

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What do you call a man with three testicles? Polyorchid. Look it up.

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what did the little boy see when he walked into his parents bed room a bed

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Why was the little boy sad? He tried to dry off his puppy in the oven.

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Obama 2012

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What's the difference between a red cube and a green cube? Nothing, I'm color blind.

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roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

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Miami Heat.

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Why does bobby have no friends? He's dead.

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What's green and has wheels? A cucumber with wheels.

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Did you hear the one about the priest, the rabbi, the astronaut, the olympic diver, the mcdonald's employee, and the web designer? Neither did I...

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what did the Spanish priest say to the Ukranian gynocologist? *fart*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops