What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by jimmy savile.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Friends are a lot like trees. If you hit them multiple times with an axe, they will fall down.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A girl talks to here boyfriend about collage. What is his responce? Nothing. No one talks about college.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

roy g biv

thumb_up thumb_down -31

what do u do if a women serves you lunch in the living room? u tighten the chain!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did Sir Mix a lot say to the girl with a big butt? Your very beautiful.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did the crazy asian man say just before he died? He didn't say anything- he was in an 18 month long coma due to a brain stem stroke. He left behind a wife, a 3 year old daughter and a newborn son.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Two muffins are in an oven. They say nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

are u black unlucky

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Where can I find a good Prostitute? Your Parents House.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

how do you make a plumber cry kill his family how do you kill the plumbers family with a wrench

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A young boy recently saved a priests life. He found a solid lump on his testicle.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Penis Gabriel - Go eat some ice cream! Boner McDaniels - No. Penis Gabriel - Ok.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

It sucks if you have amnesia. It sucks if you have amnesia.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How scoops of ice cream does a n*gger get? 0.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q:why was steve sad? A:he had an extra penis

thumb_up thumb_down -33

It only takes one drink to get me drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

why was the frog sad..... because it was stappled to the boys face

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A duck walks into the bar, buys a beer, steals your woman, wins a bar fight, pistol whips a police officer, departs and shouts Aflac

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Please don't tell anybody about me, or I will be hunted down, taken from my family, and be objected to a life of cruel exploitation.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why do women wear perfume and makeup? They smell bad and they're ugly.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do an elephant and a grape have in common? Well, depending on your ideological views they are either both God's creations or two examples of species which have evolved over time. That is all.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops