Roses are red My bulb is blue My pants are extending When I look at you

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Q: What's worse then 10 babies nailed to a tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

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Why did it take so long to find Osama Bin Laden? No idea. Bad military tactics. Was he found?

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Two lifelong friends walk into the locl Bar and each order a Beer. " So how's life treating ya?" Phil replies, " Well Doug, I've got Stage Four Lung Cancer. I'm going to Die, remember?" Unfortunately, Doug doesn't remember because Doug has a Brain Tumor.

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A blind man cant see this joke, so I probably shouldnt write it..

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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What do you get when you have 5 Russians, a few 8 year olds, and guns? A kidnapping

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Why did the clam not like to share? The deep sea is a competitive environment, where survival of the fittest is prominent.

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whats pink, brown, and smells like a banana. monkey vomit?

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Why don't woman wear watches? Because there is a clock on the stove!

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Why did the plane crash? Because its pilot was a loaf of bread

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what did god say when we made his first nigga oops i acidenlty burnt it

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Q)A man and a women are hiking on a mountain trail. A bear appears. What do they do? A) Die.

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Why did they black straight guy go into an all white gay bar....? Because he went to the wrong place.

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Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

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osama bin laden is dead

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Three Arabian men are on a plane, they stand up, and shout BOMB, BOMB, BOMB! All three have Tourettes.

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women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote, puzzles still don't.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? Because he had no arms!

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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"what's fat,stupid,and has a shell" "i don't know what" "you, i lied about the shell"

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Why did the man stop going to his local doctor? Because they put highly poisen liquids in the shots

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How do you make a salesperson cry? Shoot him in the face and throw him off a cliff

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Why couldnt Hellen Keller drive? Because vehicles werent invented yet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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