How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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a penguin biked to a bakery he walked in and asked for buns the baker said how many 12 or 13 the penguin said it don't matter I brought my bike

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Why was the napkin wet? Some water was on it

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What is the street value of Amy Winehouse's ashes? Nothing. They are ashes, not drugs.

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What is the difference between Acenaphthoquinone and Acetoguanamine? I don't know...

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Why did the Zombie kill and eat a man? Because it was hungry.

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What's black and white and red all over? A plague victim.

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Knock Knock. Who´s there? Tsu Tsu who? TSUNAMI!!!!!!!

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Q: Why was the cook put in jail. A: He has killed 2 people and robbed several stores

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you are reading this Then it must be deja vu

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what do kids take their lunch in to school. that depends if they buy lunch at school... otherwise they bring it in a lunchbox...

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Fine, this better be worth it, this is no time to be a jackass Nero.

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how do you drowned a blonde? put ankle weights on her and throw her in a river.

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Yo mama so ugly... she has an extremely bad burn on her face.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's usually in a good mood.

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Your mom is so poor she can't afford to buy herself nice things.

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What do you get when you cross a man, with Alzheimers disease?

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A Priest, A Rabbi, and an Imam walk into a bar. They promptly sit down and have a friendly theological discussion.

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Whos worse than Akise Teague. Mike Vick

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What is Yellow and American? A yellow american

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy this song doesn't rhyme penis

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What is a bull like in a China Shop? Calm, because generally any bull you would find in a China shop is probably made out of porcelain.

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A man said to a performer performin in a concert,"Go break a leg!". The performer did not respond because he is perfoming.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops