Roses are red, VIolets are blue, Tulips are white, Sunflowers are yellow

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A man was found dead, in an ice cream van, the other day. He was covered from head to toe in hundreds and thousands, with two flakes sticking out of his ears. The police say it was a tragedy and will be informing his next of kin in the next few days.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a nest of worms in your apple.

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Q: Why did the Honey Badger cross the road? A: Honey Badger don't care!!!

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What do you call a man who kills others for his own amusement? A psychologist

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Heeeheeeerrrrrrrrrrr

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What did the customer say to the waitier? "I think I'll have the special."

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What do you get if you throw a banana at the wall? Nothing.

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roses are red violets are blue your mum is a whore as are you:)

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Hi! This is Ms.McGruder you two boys in my office at 3:00 p.m. today

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Tommy got neutered.

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What's wrong with a muslim flying a plane? Nothing you racist

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A Lion walked into bar. He ordered a steak Because lions love meat.

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Hey Jake can I use your lawnmower? Why Michael, so you can run over my cat like you did last night

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Cuz she had no arms! B I T C H

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knock,knock whos there? teddybear. teddybear who? a teddybear killed your family.

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T u r n i p s

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What did the kid with turrets say? Many swear words but he can not be blamed for this because he has a disease that make him unable to control many of the things he says.

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flink geit, nei ikkke kneck bena hans jeh er på "forgiftnings avdelingen" third flor deen ask arund I mena i am the ønly guy in the world named Angelo Nero, so ull find me, srsly, got some ritalin on u? Do not respond, u know am not into drugz, but i waanna stay awak, get the detailz, remembeeer if you kicke his nuts, you get paid, if not go back. God jobb gutta, seriøst, kaffipiller ritalin, stimulanter? Not opiats, come with my phon so i can fuuk this netwerk,.. Ps: Okay break his leg, but ust one, hurry up remembr, cut his tungue (it grows bak jes) then tell dem you save him, you can be heroews, goat, tell fingern that when im bak, we are takin a trip on da limo, galz included becuz Mr.Black is the gentz. NO MOR REPLYES whre u? I want my phone not answrs her. Nero is a fucking demoppsn

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Wanna hear a joke? that disabled guy who wants to climb mount everest.

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Is it a bird, is it a plane?! No it's.... It's a bird.

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Why isn't Pluto a planet? Because it mutilated my dog

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Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have multi-personality disorder. Patient: Which one of us?

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Heskey time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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