Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

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why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME!!!

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What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

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Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

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What's bad for your teeth? A brick

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whats the difference between a chicken and a grape? there both green exept for the chicken

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A cannibal wearing a sport coat, grey slacks, and a pink tie walks into a bar holding a duck in one hand, a chicken in the other, and chewing on a human arm. He is subsequently shot by one of the patrons. There's a concealed weapons law here.

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I like turtoes.

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Whats green and tasty? Snot

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What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

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what did the schizophrenic get for his birthday? new friends

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what is the difference of left and right? i used my right hand to stab your mother.

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whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

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Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

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What would be funny? Seeing justin beiber 's penis.

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Q: What do you call a hillbilly with 12 girl friends? A: A shepherd.

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Q: What's the Difference between Judaism and Catholicism? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

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what's harder than dodging bullets? dodging rain

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

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A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

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What's yellow and has six legs ? A cat. I may be wrong about the color and the legs, I'm color-blind and I can't count.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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