A man and his young child walk into a clinic to get physical check-up. The man learns from the physicist he doesn't mater. His wife remarries and start having frequent sex and the child is scarred for life. This is irrelevant because both parents don't exist and this is all a constant delusion in an psychiatric hospital.

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a horse walks into a bar. the barman asks "why the long face". not understanding human language, the horse takes a shit, neighs then leaves

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Q: Whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion A: Getting raped by three giant scorpion's

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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If a quiz is quizzical, what's a testicle?

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What do you call a mother cow? Moooom

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Why did Bruno Mars explode? He caught a grenade for ya.

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Why don't lesbians use dildoes? Because they look just like a big penises.

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Nero, I have 30 million dollars left, lets split them and leave ground zero behind us, I know it would make me happy to share them with you.

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what did the aboriginal kid get for christmas? your bike.

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Your a bus driver, at the first stop, 4 people get on. At the second stop, 2 people get off. At the third stop, 7 people get off. At the fourth stop, everyone gets off. What is the bus drivers name?

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Why did the Liberal tell the truth? If one ever does we will have the answer.

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Why didnt sally throw out her lunch? Her mom had a miscarriage, she was never born.

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What do you call a muslim in an airport? A muslim going on vacation you racist bastard.

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Why did the man go to the doctors? He was concerned about his health.

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What happened when the black woman moved to the front of the bus? There were no seats available but everyone was very nice about it. She also asked for gum. Somebody did have gum. Which was nice.

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Q: How do you make Helen Keller cry? A: Casually remind her that she is both blind and deaf.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A co-pilot

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The first train go fowards at 250 mph, and the second train takes a left, how many pancakes are on my rooftop? - The answer is purple because aliens don't dribk coffee

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69, Is funny because the numbers are backwards

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Why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? Because bungee jumping is a great activity to relieve stress.

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What did the little girl say after her dad hit her? Nothing. She was a month old and died instantly.

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Where do you find a vegetable? Where you left him

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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