Roses are red, yup.

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What's liquid, clear, and tastes like water? H20

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Your moma is so fat, that Jabba the Hutt says: "Damn!!!"

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How many Russians can you fit in a Mini Cooper? It depends on how big they are.

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Why did the man put his money in the freezer? hes retarded.

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If there are four gay men that come into a bar and need to sit down when all you have is one stool; what do you do? Get three more stools.

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What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

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why did the boy drop his icecream?? he got hit by a bus

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teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

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Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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Why couldn't the boy hide his penis? Circumcision.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing, she had no arms. Knock Knock Who’s there? Not Sarah.

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Duck: got any grapes? Lemonade Seller: no the duck waddeld away and never came back for the guy has no grapes

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AIDS

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What is the differnece between the chair and the pot? You can't cook in the chair.

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Your mom.

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What do you call the people that ride on the upper level of a double decker bus? Passengers.

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What did Mitch say to joe when he saw his fly was down? Nothing because he's a bagle

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What's the best use for a van full of candy? Donating it to an orphanage.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reading the dumbass things that people come up with as an answer.

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How do you get a person to stop talking to you? Ask nicely to please be quiet and let me talk.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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Why was the cat in the bag? Because it's owner was abusive and put it in there.

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Why were the Jews stuck in Germany? Because Joseph Rosenstein and his Jewish family missed their train out of Frankfurt to go to Paris, and so they had to stay another night in their hotel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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