Knock, knock! “Who's there?” “The Gestapo.”

thumb_up thumb_down +28

knock knock. I have a doorbell, you don't have to knock.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

I'm funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you get when 100 sex-crazed gays are in the same room? About a quart.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what did the jewish man say to the christian man on the first day of hannukah? i like basketball

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

You.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman... They all died in a horrible train wreck.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Will you marry me? No, I'm cake.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q:why did the girl fall off the swing set? A:she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Arent you my dark knight in black armor, you would seriously put your life on the line for my sake?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was John the octopus depressed? Because his real name was Steve, and he couldn't communicate this to anyone since he lacked the higher brain functions and vocal chords required to do so.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

thumb_up thumb_down -32

9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down -116

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops