What did it say in the end of the book? The End.

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what do you call a gay kid? KIRK, SAV, FRANK, or even KIRKLE THE TURTLE

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so a baby seal walks into a club...

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hrih

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what did jesus say to moses? jesus isn't real

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Q: What happened to Michael Jackson yesterday? A: Nothing.

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Why did the tree fall? I cut it.

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what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

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What do you call two Ethiopians standing side-by-side? Friends

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Why did the window break? I threw a pig out it.

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If a tree falls on a house and there's no one there to hear it....Why was there no woman in the kitchen?

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? It doesn't matter because the deaf man couldn't hear him.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

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What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

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What did the man say to the man? Awkward.

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Midgets are capable of doing an average person's everyday task. Unless they have autism, then they might as well die.

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Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

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What looks like poop and smells like cheese??

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Why can't women drive? Actually, they can as long as they legally acquire a driver's license and have no existing restrictions.

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Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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