knock knock whos there? your mother your mother who? ...........what?

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What did the English teacher write on a sheet of assignment criteria? The assignment criteria. Plus, she spelled "millennium" wrong.

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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what did the schizophrenic get for his birthday? new friends

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what is the difference of left and right? i used my right hand to stab your mother.

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what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

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Gay jokes are a real pain in the butt.

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what did the pregnant mexiCAN woMAN say while she was giving birth? A LOT of curse words

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Yo mama is so fat that her dietician often recommends that she decrease her calorie intake and exercise more often to avoid risk of diabetes or potentially a stroke.

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A man walks into a bar... But, it's not funny because he's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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Q: What's the Difference between Judaism and Catholicism? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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why was the boy in his closet? He is hiding because his father beats him because he is gay.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf. That would be irresponsible/

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

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A black kid, an Asian kid, and a Jewish kid walk into a barrier. They are students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and they walk straight through the barrier onto Platform 9 3/4.

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What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

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What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

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what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

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What do stuffed animals and living animals have in common? There both living except the stuffed animal.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

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A frog found a smoking cigarette on the road, so he/she takes it, smokes it, and explodes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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