My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to vote off obama

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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123457

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

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whats the difference between a chicken and a grape? there both green exept for the chicken

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Q - Why did the boy die? A - He had AIDS because his father raped him.

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How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

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What's worse than pushing a baby off a cliff?........ Standing at the bottom with a pitchfork....!

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hi

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How did the little boy break his arm? He was trampleed by elephants.

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what is the difference of left and right? i used my right hand to stab your mother.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Donald Trump Donald Trump who? I already told you my full name. You're fired!

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is created to be used by multiple people for sitting down or other forms of rest, and does not have consciousness or the complex body systems of humans and other animals.

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What did the man say to the man? Awkward.

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What's the difference between a red cube and a green cube? Nothing, I'm color blind.

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What do you call a black man in a suit? A lawyer.

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What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

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Why does an Irish cop wear a belt? To hold up his pants.

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A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

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why is billy g is really supid because he gets bad grades

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops