Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

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Two Muffins in an oven One muffin looks at the other muffin and says: "Oohhhh it's hot in here!". Then the other muffin says: "Oohhhh a talking muffin!"

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Father Murphy met Samuel Myer on the street. Sam it's been a month o' Sundays since I've seen you. You look propserous. How's the moile business? A snip better, Father, since we talked last. And thank you. For what, Sam? Well the last time we met you asked what I did with the foreskins. Well, here is the answer, my new business. What's this, a wallet. But so smooth, Sam. Yeah, Father, but when you rub it. Rub it, Sam? Yeah when you rub it it falls apart. And you have to buy a new one! Mazel Tov!

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Nero was my name thousands of years ago, but I believe that those With clearer sight, brighter minds, those you remaining WITHOUT the sense of Complete doom, oh children of the night, know far better, turn to my side, and sheep you shall be no more, together we shall be Whole once again, the sheperd of this New world! Thumb this up if you have seen the signs... Thumb this up if you have seen the sins... ...End up buried under the corpses of everything you knew if you have no vision in this New dawn of ages endlessly darknening, and pretend that the internet will be there, or that the horsehead network ever mattered to you for that matter... :You say insanity today, sunday 27th January 2016, you will be the one running, begging that Our world is but YOUR INSANITY, a nightmare, which only Death will awaken you from

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumbty took a great fall Because he was terribly intoxicated And failed to probably balance himself.

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Q. What did the atheist ask the pregnant woman? A. You gonna eat that?

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What's funnier than one anti- joke? Two anti- jokes.

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What did one orphan say to the other? 'Robin get in the car!'

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Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

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What did Goldilocks say to the Three Bears? No one knows. Her remains were discovered three weeks later.

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A man looks at a glass and says that it is half full. Another man looks at the glass and says that it is half empty. A feminist looked at the glass and said it was being raped

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Q: What's worse than stepping a LEGO in the middle of the night? A: A landmine

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What did Sally get for chirstmas? Cancer

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qu'est ce qui est petit et poilu? un asticot poilu

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What does these 3 words all have in common? terrifiant, hrollvekjandi, Przera?aj?ce They all mean the same thing describing Ian! CREEPY

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Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he was late for a meeting

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Whats a lion in Antartica? . Dead

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Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

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your face

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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Why was the Asian woman late for work? She was raped.

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How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

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While your reading this. A man is robbing your home and sodomizing your dog

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Why was the black man kicked out of the restaurant? Blatant racism was still very prevalent at that time and place.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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