There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Knock knock. Who's there? You know. You know who? "Call him Voldemort.... Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself."

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did the hamster run around the wheel.? Because he lived in a small cage and had nothing better to do.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Q: What's the Difference between Judaism and Catholicism? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A girl walks into a bar. She unfortunately meets a man with a drinking problem. The man takes her home, strips her of her virginity and then beats her with a bat until she can no longer breathe. Her name was Laura Pratz.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A horse walks into a bar... Horses are not indigenous to China.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

This comment is anti to jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's funner than a barrel of monkeys ? Not the Holocaust .

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

QUESTION: Why do black people do so poorly in school? ANSWER: Some statistics point to genetic disparities in intelligence between races, but others say it is due to more complicated social factors.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Who's more mean than teacher Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Hey guess what? Nevermind.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did it say in the end of the book? The End.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

so a baby seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down -15

hrih

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what did jesus say to moses? jesus isn't real

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: What happened to Michael Jackson yesterday? A: Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

What happens when some one breaks apart your little brother's lego tower? You have a screaming little brother and a bunch of legos all over the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -107

What do you call two Ethiopians standing side-by-side? Friends

thumb_up thumb_down +56

what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Why did the window break? I threw a pig out it.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops