What's the color of an apple? It varies depending on the type of tree and climate the fruit grows in.

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Your momma's so fat...

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A guy with no legs walks into a bar.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

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What happens if Pinocchio says "My nose is about to grow." Nothing, Pinocchio was a fictional character created by Walt Disney.

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Why was the black guy good at basketball? He practiced hard everyday.

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Q. What's funnier than an anti-joke? A. Thousands of anti-jokes, compiled on a worldwide network.

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What do you call a black man in a suit? A lawyer.

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What looks like dirt, smells like dirt, but isn't dirt? Fake dirt!!

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What's the difference between a red cube and a green cube? Nothing, I'm color blind.

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A horse walked into a bar, broke its leg and its owner then had to put it down because it was a racing horse and the owner did not have enough money to bring the horse back to health. Fuck you.

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What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

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why doesnt cornelia say anything? she didnt answer

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Will you marry me? No, I'm cake.

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Why does an Irish cop wear a belt? To hold up his pants.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

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how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

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Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

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Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

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What do you call a three legged man? Horribly deformed

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What did Darth Vader say to Luke? I am your father.

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God said "let there be light" Chuck Noris said "say please

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was mercilessly beaten by his mother.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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