Your momma's so fat...

thumb_up thumb_down -84

A guy with no legs walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What happens if Pinocchio says "My nose is about to grow." Nothing, Pinocchio was a fictional character created by Walt Disney.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why was the black guy good at basketball? He practiced hard everyday.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q. What's funnier than an anti-joke? A. Thousands of anti-jokes, compiled on a worldwide network.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a black man in a suit? A lawyer.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What looks like dirt, smells like dirt, but isn't dirt? Fake dirt!!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between a red cube and a green cube? Nothing, I'm color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A horse walked into a bar, broke its leg and its owner then had to put it down because it was a racing horse and the owner did not have enough money to bring the horse back to health. Fuck you.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why does an Irish cop wear a belt? To hold up his pants.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why doesnt cornelia say anything? she didnt answer

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Will you marry me? No, I'm cake.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did Darth Vader say to Luke? I am your father.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a three legged man? Horribly deformed

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the boy cry? Because he was mercilessly beaten by his mother.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

whats the difference between a chicken and a grape? there both green exept for the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops