How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit it with an axe!

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Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

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so a guy walks into a bar, he says nothing for he now has a concusion

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why was justin sad? his family was murdered

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Why didn't the boy have any pockets on? He didn't have any pants on

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

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Your momma is so fat, shes skinny.

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Justin Bieber tries to get into a club but is not allowed because he is to young.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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What do you call a man with no arms? Richard, as that is his name.

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what did the homeless kid get for christmas? nothing he probably doesn't know what christmas is

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A Korean, a Japanese, a Muslim, a Christian, a Jew, a Chinese and a member of Isis are enjoying a friendly game of poker. The Korean man kills everyone because he has a life threatening illness that prevents him from using his brain. The worst news though was that the he lost the game of poker.

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What did the man who brutally raped and murdered his infant daughter say? He didn't.

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A man walks into a bar. He is now passed out on the ground. (TD)

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What kind of key can unlock a banana? Basically any key that is sharp enough.

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Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

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A Polish man walks into a bar and says, "Co za asy..."

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow And daisies can be a wide variety of colours.

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Why was the black family eating KFC? Because KFC tastes very nice and there was a discount on the family bucket.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? were lawyers

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

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i am not a pothead!!! the only time ive evr been high was springbreak last year!!! mm hmm... wat were u doin over spring break to get high? i had jaw surgery and the doctor had me on tons of painkillers

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a brick cheated on another brick, the brick that was cheated on was angry and became disgusted at the brick that cheated. the current brick that was cheated on tryied top kill the other bitch brick, the brick that cheated tried to break up the fight but testicles

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Once upon a time in a far away kingdom, people lived in it. The End.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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