Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

Roses are Brown Violets are Brown Whos been shitting on my garden??

A cat starts grooming itself How many sprinkles does it take to cover the moon Cabinet because whales live in water

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey!!!" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

What has legs but can't walk? A table...or a dog with four broken legs.

When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

Have you seen the movie "Gay Men Say No"? Oh yes, that is very insightful documentary on the modern day struggles of homosexuality.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

Two kids walk into a bar and get arrested for underage drinking.

What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

Why is my son hungry? Because he didn't eat lunch.

what do you call a black guy with a nice car? most probably a rapper or professional athlete, however there is also a great chance that he is a doctor of philosophy and well educated.

Did you hear about the 2 car crash in a walmart parking lot? 50 mexicans died

Smelly Indians.

Q: Why Marc can't run? A: Marc is a leaf.

your mom is so fat jesus couldnt even lift her spirits

Yo momma so fat her pancreas doesn't work anymore.

Why was the mime crying? Her husband died.

A man walks into a bar, and is brutally slaughtered by eight drunk customers.

Why did the girl with a striped ball fall over? She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.

Jebron Lames.

Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?" Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from."

AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...