How do you make a blond to shoot herself? You give her a gun and than ask her to pull the trigger.

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3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

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Your mom is so ugly, that her job prospects are affected negatively, and your family suffers as a consequence.

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What is white and can't walk? A PVC Pipe.

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What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

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two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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i'm a loser with body odor.. plus i play pokemon to pass the time because reality is just to horrible to face. guess who? josh wood.

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Why did the man punch his wife? Because he was angry

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Chickens are raised on farms, which are away from society. They are taken care of in pens, and have no way of escaping. Therefore it couldn't have crossed any roads.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.

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What is the difference between muffins and cornbread? I don't enjoy sticking cornbread in my anus.

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Why did the pollock jump into the sea? A pollock is a fish.

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What happened to the boy when he did nothing? The game.

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Good to see you today!

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How Long is a Chinese name.

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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What do you a a toilet with fecal matter in it? A toilet.

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Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

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How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My room is a mess, Violets are still blue

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Whats better than winning a Paralympic Gold Medal? Having Legs.

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roses are red, violets are blue when ever l flush the toilet i think of you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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