Good to see you today!

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You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

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What do you call a black man and woman with a little white girl? A Family.

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Why do black people eat watermelon? It is a good source of vitamin C.

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What's the difference between a prostitute and a cherry red Ferrari? A cherry red Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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Religion

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A murder, a cheater, and a liar walk into a bar..... Woah the aptriots must be in town -Rocco Tufano

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Why do Jewish people like money so much? Because they can exchange it for goods and services

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a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

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Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone? A. He got attacked by a dog.

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what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names.

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You are such a loner nothing even clings to you, not even plastic wrap!!

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A man walks into a bar and the the llama next store sprouted wings and flew Then a potato says hi to a iPod but unfortunatly the iPod can't talk. Meanwhile hello kitty and ducks wage a nuclear war and the rise of ostriches Started. The a giant cucumber started falling of mt. Everest and killed many Flying platipuses were saved. Then aliens started invading and the world ended.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was dead and therefore unable to escape the Chick fil A bag it was being carried in.

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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Why was the black man unemployed? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

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what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

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Miami Heat.

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What's the difference between black people and white people? Their skin color.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't; numbers cannot experience emotions.

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how many Alzheimer's patients does it take ti screw in a lightbulb? to get to the other side

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Whats the best way to take down a skycraper? -Crash a plane into it-

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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