What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

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Knock knock. Who's there? You know. You know who? "Call him Voldemort.... Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself."

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Why did the police stopped the black driver? Because one of his car's lights was busted.

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Christians

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Q: what do you call someone on Anti Jokes A: Someone with no friends trying to find a funny joke to make friends.

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Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

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2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

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A BABY seal walks into a club

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a grocery store. As they walk past the meat section, the Priest stops, smiles, and turns to the Rabbi. "Feeling Hungry?" The Rabbi reaches down and picks up a pack of Koscher hotdogs.

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Q: How did the blind girl on the tight rope die? A: She fell because she has Parkinsons

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u smell oh no of wat?? dunno i just know its BADDDDDDD !!!!!! k.c

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

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why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME!!!

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why do you often see black man dating fat chick?? because they have the brains to realise that fat chicks are just people and need love too

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why cant the black guy vote? because hes not 18 yet.

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whats the difference between a chicken and a grape? there both green exept for the chicken

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what do you call a gay kid? KIRK, SAV, FRANK, or even KIRKLE THE TURTLE

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If you live in the 'living' room, what do you do in the others? You die.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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