Roses are red violets are blue ... Aww I just don't give a damn and nether do you.

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What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

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What did the young girl get for Christmas? Violently raped and murdered by her abusive father.

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How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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A blonde goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "That is a worrying symptom," says the doctor, who immediately recommends the woman for a thorough psychiatric assessment.

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I have sex daily, I mean dyslexia.

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Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Yo mama is so fat that her dietician often recommends that she decrease her calorie intake and exercise more often to avoid risk of diabetes or potentially a stroke.

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America Votes

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What do you call a black guy eating fried chicken? His name.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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Why did the hipster hate black people? Because he was racist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because potatos are invading russia

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the postman, I have a package you need to sign for.

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A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

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What's the difference between a red cube and a green cube? Nothing, I'm color blind.

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Roses are red, Muslims are brown, When I see them swimming, I hope that they drown!

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person 1 - what's big, green and ugly? person 2 - don't know. what's big, green and ugly? person 1 - nothing is

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why did Timmy fall off the the slide? he was hit by a plane why was Jimmy laughing? he watched Timmy get hit by the plane

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

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What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A car that is driving recklessly and happens to have a Christmas paint scheme.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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