What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

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roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, most likely, the chicken escaped from a near by ranch or farm. Upon escaping, he may have simply wandered in the direction of the road, and hence crossed it. Or, with chickens having great curiosity, may have been attracted to something on the other side of the road and felt the urge to explore. Depending on the demographics of the area in which road was in, the chicken had different chances of being hit by an automobile. That's why.

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What do you a a toilet with fecal matter in it? A toilet.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

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I need somebody to lean on... ...Because one of my legs was amputated after I was blown up on a mine field in afganistan.

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How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

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what do you call a homosexual kid? A Kerich

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What do you call a man with a sack of money running from a bank? A rich man.

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Knock knock Who's there? A friend. But I don't have any friends.

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What's black and blue and red all over? A person who was just in a fight.

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What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

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How did the cat die? I just it nine times

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Why did Sally fall of the Swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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Two black guys walk into a country club and ask to play a round of golf. They are turned away because the aren't members of the club.

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what did the Spanish priest say to the Ukranian gynocologist? *fart*

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Yep, super duper stressed, all of the time, but how did you know?

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What is worse then rain on your wedding day? Getting married.

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What is the difference between obama and a hobo. NOTHING

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Why do black people always say to the left to the left... because they don't have rights.

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Why did the tree fall? I cut it.

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lebron

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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