A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

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Yo Mama's so fat that she is at risk for diabetes

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Whos better at Hide and go Seek, Anne Frank or Osama Bin Laden? -Why dont you tell me, they're both dead !

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Knock Knock : F*ck im watching porn...

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Who has two thumbs and is happy? This girl! You're a girl?

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Strength of body Vs Strengh of Mind. Mind: You can lead a horse to water... Strength: Then you can force that mother*bleep* to drink all you want that *bleep* to drink! Strength of body wins, horseless victory.

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A man walks into a bar gets hurt and falls over

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Justin Beiber sings. people don't listen.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? Jews are people

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How do you get a woman out of a car? You drive it into a river and her body will float to the top.

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Do you know what's the sexiest thing in the world? Sex.

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Whats greasy and long? Your moms chesthair

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3 black guys walk into a restaurant and they sat down, ate their meals, and even tipped the waitor handsomely then for about 10 minutes they talk and then leave restaurant. Soon after a white guy comes and holds up the place for all it's money then killing three hostages before being taken down by the police.

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So, this joke isn't funny.

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Bill and John are talking about types of cheese. The conversation drags on a bit and slowly changes topic. Bill says "I bet you I can bungy jump off a bridge". John chuckles before replying "I bet you can't". They go and find a bridge and Bill puts on his harness and ties himself to the side of the bridge. He throws himself off the edge and falls through the air screaming at the top of his voice. John cuts the bungy cord and Bill dies.

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What do you call a man that paints on a his face and wears big shoes? Lady Gaga.

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Knock knock. This is a no soliciting residence, and I do not open my door for strangers.

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What comes after 23? 24.

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What's worse than a papercut? Dying

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a drunk man got 3 beers and a 5 whiskys

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what do yo call two dog? dogs.

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops