Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9 8 7

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What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

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What's worse then me banging your mom? The fact that I gave her HIV

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What did muscleman say to his dad? You know who else is my dad? MY MOM!

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hear hear

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Whats the difference between a white man and a black man? black people have more melanin in their skin causing it to pigment and turn black

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Why was the guy with six fingers called John? His name was John.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Interrupting Doctor" "Interrupting Doc-" "You have Cancer'

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

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Why couldn't the Mexican man get a job? Because he was dead.

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Midgets' mouths are perfect height for, kissing other midgets.

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Once upon a time, there was a cat. He died.

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Wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the girl next door.

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Why are AntiJokes so funny? Because your brain analyses them and makes you laugh.

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What did the cookie monster eat? Food

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Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? She wanted a tattoo.

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Whats the difference between a bottle of coke and a black man stuck in a phone booth? one of them is comparing himself to a bottle of coke, the other is a bottle of pepsi

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a man walked in to a bar and said 'outch'

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

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How do you pacify Hitler? Give him jews.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven.

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Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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