Q. Whats Red and yellow and has braces? A.Pierre-Louis

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Why did little Betsy have a stomach ache? Her alcoholic mother pinned her down in a drunken rage and made her drink bleach.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you suck your own dick.

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"My, what big teeth you have!" exclaimed Little Red Riding Hood. "Because I'm a wolf," explained the wolf. "And I dress in women's clothing because it makes me happier."

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Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. The mailman who? Anthrax.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin, "Sure is hot in here." The other muffin says, "AHHHH! A talking muffin."

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Patient- "Doctor, doctor help me! I've only got 59 seconds to live!" Doctor- "I'll be there in a minute."

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Why was the curious black guy a good Lumberjack? He was always axin'.

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What's white, black and can't fly? Nothing important.

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q: Why was the little girl upset? A: Because she drank a window cleanser, causing her vital organs to shut down, ending in a slow, painful, death.

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What do astronauts and Wayne Rooney have in common? I don't know. Ok.

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What would kill a Muslim if they were to ingest it? Arsenic

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How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

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Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

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why didn't love legs cross the road because he had no balls

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What do you get when you cross bread an eagle, a wolf and shark together? I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it will kill all of us!

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Why are black people not allowed to play football? They are.

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What's red and fun to drink through a bendy straw? Period blood

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? hypothermia.

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The kid was riding a honda xr70r. He got hit by a non moving object and died.

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What's scarier than a ghost? Ur mum.

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops