A girl walks into a bar. She unfortunately meets a man with a drinking problem. The man takes her home, strips her of her virginity and then beats her with a bat until she can no longer breathe. Her name was Laura Pratz.

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Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Because he was dead.

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Wumbo

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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Why didn't the African kid eat lunch? He wasn't hungry.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf. That would be irresponsible/

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What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

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pedophile

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What did he hellen keller say to her dad ? Nothing she cant talk

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Knock knock whose there? i have a warrant, i excpect you to come out peacefully with you hands behind you back

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A girl walks into a bar she is then drugged, raped and left in a back alley. To this day she still has psychological issues that are directly related to this event

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HaHaHaHa... Was the last joke funny? Ya, well this ones not.

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Two black guys walk into a country club and ask to play a round of golf. They are turned away because the aren't members of the club.

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how do you get expelled? Rape a special ed kid.

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One time, I ate 3 chipotle burritos....after a tennis match

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why cant the black guy vote? because hes not 18 yet.

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Landlord; you've been evicted.

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Why did the man with brain cancer die? He drove his Segway off a cliff.

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A frog found a smoking cigarette on the road, so he/she takes it, smokes it, and explodes.

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What did Darth Vader say to Luke? I am your father.

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what is pink and fluffly? pink fluff

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What do you get when you cross a pelican with a mountain goat? It's hard to say.

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What happened to the Caucasian man who went to Vegas? He lost all his money so the government took away his car and his house so he had to become homeless and live on the streets begging for money from any who walked by until he slowly starved to death after eating food left in restaurants and trashcans.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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