What's the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They brutally whipped and tortured her.

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Whats worse than the Halocaust? Your mom

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So an asian man gets into a car... and drives home on the highway driving at the approximate speed of the designated speed limit while exhibiting safe driving maneuvers. He arrives home to his wife and kids and sits down for a nice dinner while having a engaging conversation about the political future of the United States and his favorite football team.

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1134

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Knock, knock! “Who's there?” “The Gestapo.”

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Did you hear about that show where two crazy guy got on stage and the show had to be canceled. I didnt either.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Come in" "Come in who?"

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What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

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Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One looks at the other and says, "Can you pass the soap?" The other penguin says, "What do i look like, a typewriter?"

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What do you call a brunette between two blondes? Susan.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

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why was the man itchy? because he had herpies

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why do you often see black man dating fat chick?? because they have the brains to realise that fat chicks are just people and need love too

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Why can't women drive? Actually, they can as long as they legally acquire a driver's license and have no existing restrictions.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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What did the Pikachu say to the Charmander? Pika pika pikachu pika!

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acuna

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What color is a banana? yellow.

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What do you get if you cross a chicken and a potato? Answer- Chicken tasted potato

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What did the orphan say to the other orphan? Annie is my favorite movie.

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Your mother is such a whore that she has consensual sex with a lot of people...

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Why did the tree fall? I cut it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops