What's the best thing about shrimp? It never goes bad.

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whats red and all over the road your family after a horrific car crash

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart But the very next day Your body rejected it and you went into cardiac arrest, we both died

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Whats more fun than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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Why did the batmobile lose a wheel? The joker was raping robin too hard

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Why did the boy Drop his Ice Cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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A women frantically calls the doctor and says, " Doctor, doctor, give me the news! I have a bad case of loving you."

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Why did the family at dinner not tip the waiter? He was mean and spat in their food.

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guy walks into a bar. other guy says to him, "are you blind"? "yes", he answered.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle

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What green and has wheels? grass I lied about the wheels

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I was raped oh no he's coming HELP ahhhhhhhhfkaek.k.k.k.k.k.k. vmruieao3 vxm v

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

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What is funnier than one dead baby? Two dead Babies

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I know you are but what am I? Gay.

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A dog walks into a bar Because the door was open -Tag

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your mammas so fat tha-- my mother is dead. oh... sorry.

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Imagine a scenario Add a Rhubarb Crumble into your scenario Add your mother and father sitting together watching the news in your scenario. Your scenario should take place in an old people's home Add an Olympic athlete doing the splits into your scenario If there were any crane-flies in your scenario, be sure to subtract them at once. Divide your scenario by two. Your scenario should now be a mental image of flying horses and a hippopotamus eating a large salmon mousse. There will be a pig tied to a pair of sunglasses.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean? Dead.

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why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

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Phil sees a hitchhiker wandering past his car on the sidewalk. He asks Phil if he can take him to his house, and Phil says no, and keeps driving. Six seconds later the hitchhiker is crossing the street in search of somebody else, when he is hit by a bus and dies.

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Whats the difference between a lamp and Morgan Freeman? Alot

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A man walked into a bar and asked if he could use the toilet The bartender told him that it was for paying customers only The man walked up to the bartender, ordered a drink and then proceeded to go to the toilet He came back feeling refreshed, finished his drink and said his goodbyes

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What's black, then white, then dead all over? Michael Jackson

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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