What's the same about a duck-billed platypus and a duck? They both have a duck bill on their face... Duh!

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What do a plane and a flight attendant have in common? They're both going somewhere in their careers. Aside from the flight attendant.

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Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

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There once was a man from Peru, Whose limericks all stopped on line two.

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The speeding car skidded on the rain-slicked roadway. Beyond the outside of the curve was a 100 meter drop-off. As the car slid toward the edge of the road, the driver and passenger both had a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach and wished they hadn't ordered vinegar milkshakes, the special of the day at Pickle Shack. Or it could have been the toadstools, but it didn't matter now.

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What's the easiest way to get a cat out of a tree? Call the fire department and allow them to safely reach the cat and properly extract it from the tree while you watch from below.

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Two biscuits were sitting in an oven. One says to the other hows it going, the other says nothing because he knows that biscuits can't talk.

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Is it true that curiousity killed the cat? No, I hit it multiple times with a baseball bat

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why does everyone like this website? ... because every other joke a little baby is dying.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A rather unfortunate physical disability

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Q: Why didn't i save my work? A: Because i didn't do any work?

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Mark Mark who? Mark Jennings. Oh hey, Mark, come in.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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I forgot what came after: Roses are Red Violets are Blue Too much anti jokes

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can A hundred dead babies in a trash can Whats worse than a hundred dead babies in a trash can A live one at the bottom Whats worse than that It eats it way out Whats worse than that It brings friends

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What did the blind man say when you asked hi his favorite color? Nothing he is death too

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why the fuck he crossed the road, I don't know what he is thinking.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete jumped out, who was left? Pete, the boat blew up and instantly killed repeat

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What is black and white and red all over? A nun that just fell down the stairs.

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Two peanuts walked into a bar... One was a salted.

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What do you call a really bad band? Nickelback.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops