How do you stop a black man drowning? Take your foot off his head

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Wife, "Wake up... i think there's someone in the house, do something... go downstairs and have a look!" Husband, "Do it yourself." Wife, "You what? You can't expect a woman to fight off an intruder..." Husband, "You women wanted equal rights so here you go, do it yourself."

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"MR PLATT!!!!!!" "Yeah?" "Telephone for you sir." "Oh, cheers Tony."

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IMMA FIND YO ASS DO!!!!!

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knock, knock Who's there? A social worker, we are taking your children into costody because your wife has reported you to the police for molesting them.

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You had 10 bricks on an airplane, you throw one. How many do you now have? 9. How do you get the elephant in the fridge? Open the fridge put the elephant in. How do you get the giraffe in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in. There was an animal meeting, all animals were invited. Which animal was missing? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge. An old woman wants to cross a river that was full of crocodiles. How does she cross without getting eaten? The crocodiles were at the animal meeting, so she got across safely. She dies anyways. What happened? She was hit by the brick.

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Yo mama so stupid, she scored poorly on her SAT exams in high school. She was unable to recieve a college education. She now works as a full time waitress at a small diner. She earns minimum wage and is still getting nowhere on her search for a better job.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Cats meow Dogs have four legs

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A Penguin Waddles into Abercrombie and Fitch.

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When life hands you melons it means you're dyslexic.

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What do you call a banana? A banana.

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why was the little boy crying? he wasnt, he died 2 weeks ago

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What did the blind and deaf kid get for christmas? Cancer.

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings

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Person1: wanna hear a joke? Person2: yeah Person1: ok

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I agree Detroit sux. But the bulls suk too ya know

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some men like Cheese, I have aids.

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Q. How do you make your dog stop barking? A. Take it to the grocery store. Replace it with any popsicle in the fridge.

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What came first the chicken or the egg? Neither, chickens have been extinct since 1987.

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whats hairy and fat? I DONT KNOW YOU TELL ME RETARD

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Wanna hear something dirty? Mud.

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What's white and sticky? A marshmellow.

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What is the difference between a black person and a bicycle? You can sell a bicycle legally.

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What's yellow and goes up and down? A banana in an elevator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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