How do you convince a therapist that he is crazy? Hide in a fortress made of sporks wearing nothing but a belt, and start hissing and throwing paint at him repeatedly.

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the game

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" "It's Mr. Johnson, your next door neighbor." "Come on in."

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how many Ethiopians can you fit in a bathtub? all of them.

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What's big, hard, in the water, and isolated? Shutter Island

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Presents.

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What did the strawberry say to the grape? Nothing, inanimate objects can't use verbal communication.

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why was the boy crying over his dog, his cat, and his bird? Cuz i raped them Wat about his pet hamster? I threw it at a wall

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a blind man drinking from a dog, thinking it was a fountain

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What would you call Kenny Dalgleish if he was black? Mr Dalgleish in a formal setting, Kenny in an informal one.

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what do you call a woman with cancer wearing a wedding dress? a shouttellcock

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How do you fit a giraffe into a refrigerator? You cut it into pieces.

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What did the cow say when he saw his family get murdered? Moo.

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Who let the dogs out? The burglar, he broke the door and they ran out.

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Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

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Q: Why did the boy not laugh at the Anti Joke? A: Because he has no sense of humor

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A fat man walked into a hot dog.

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Whats he difference between a rock and a dead baby? I'm not spemding the rest of my natural life in an insane asylum for eating a rock!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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What do you get when you put a pig in an oven? A dead pig.

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What's worse than being caught in a downpour? Having your kneecaps ripped out of their sockets.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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What happened after the lawer jumped off the bridge? His family mourned his loss for years.

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A black man and his mexican friend walk into a bar. The black man orders a drink and the mexican gets soda. He is the designated driver

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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