So there were two palm trees on an island. The first palm tree says to the second, "Hey! What's up?" The second one replies, "Nothing much, just chilling." Except they were actually ice cubes.

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Why was little timmy's arm crooked His mom tried to pull his arm off.

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Why doesnt Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesnt float.

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What's the difference between your mom and a toaster? A toaster won't period in your cereal bowl.

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What do you call an Italian baby born with an extra toe? He was named Vincent Antonio Linguini and has been doing well with six toes.

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What a vase and a cheeseburger have in common? It has it's price.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The brunette and the redhead escape, but the blonde is captured. Why? Because she had a prosthetic leg sustained from a previous injury, and thus couldn't run very fast.

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Kony 2012

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Why wasn't the 7 year old boy happy? I shot him

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I like to sniff your hair when you are asleep.

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Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

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A guy with no legs walks into a bar.

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A black man, a Jewish man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They are all good friends who want to enjoy drinks together.

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Q: How do you get a bunch of mexicans attention? A: Say excuse me, can I have your attention please?

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So an asian man gets into a car... and drives home on the highway driving at the approximate speed of the designated speed limit while exhibiting safe driving maneuvers. He arrives home to his wife and kids and sits down for a nice dinner while having a engaging conversation about the political future of the United States and his favorite football team.

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Why do Mexicans like to eat burritos? They are delicious.

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Q: what do you call someone on Anti Jokes A: Someone with no friends trying to find a funny joke to make friends.

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knock knock. I have a doorbell, you don't have to knock.

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What type of cheese is not your cheese? The cheese that belongs to another person.

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A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

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Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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What did he hellen keller say to her dad ? Nothing she cant talk

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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