What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

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Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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I used to be an Adventurer like you... But then I decided that it was a dangerous form of employment and stopped.

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Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What do you call a man with a sack of money running from a bank? A rich man.

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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How many hispanics does it take to screw in a light bulb. One. Just one. You just screw it in, it's not that complicated.

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Why was timmy crying? He gave his grandmother AIDs...

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On a scale of one to 10, F*ck yourself.

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Why do people discriminate against black people? Because they show an undeserving amount of disrespect towards the rest of the world and why should they get anything better than what they offer.

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you say "ask me if im a tree" he says "r u a tree?" you say"no..." then just stare at them

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Q: what did the hot dog say to the hamburger A: i want your buns

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How do you occupy a blonde for hours ? Give her a long list of stuff to do.

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a little boy told his friend he failed a test.. the friend replied that his parents r goin to kill him... to save himself the suffering ...the boy hung himself in his closet

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 1. Discovering your "girlfriend" is a man 2. The Holocaust 3. Being Raped 4. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid 5. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid who doesn't wear protection.

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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Why did the man scream? He got his dick caught. In the zipper.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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What do you get if you cross a chicken and a potato? Answer- Chicken tasted potato

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Once upon a time a girl took a gun and shot herself in the face

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Whats he best type of terroist? A dead one.

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hi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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