A Polar Bear walks into a bar and says to the barman: "Barman! Give me a whiskey and ............................................................coke." The barman says: "Why the big pause?" to which the Polar bear replies: "Well uhm my father had big paws"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happened when the black man approached a dinosaur? Nothing, for dinosaurs were eradicated from the face of the earth 135 million years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

There are 2 muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says "Damn, it's getting hot in here." The other muffing replies "Holy Shit! A Talking Muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: What did the poor man do when he saw a Ferrari? A: He realized that he would really enjoy having the money to buy such a nice vehicle, so he decided to take it upon himself to enroll in night classes. After many years of hard work, he earned a degree and a high-paying position at a large software corporation, and bought his dream car. He often told the story to his children as an example of what hard work and a goal in mind could achieve you. He lived a long, productive life and died fulfilled.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road---- because he's having financial and relationship related problems that make his life so hideously unbearable that he wants to kill himself and because he's a chicken and cannot overdose or hang himself he goes for the most viable option as to run across a busy street in hopes of getting smashed to oblivion by a car

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I'm a poet and I just didn't realise

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a 3 legged dog on a red unicycle? An unlikely set of circumstances.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

When faced with an impossible question. I like to give, and maybe receive, an impossible, yet endearing, request/answer to the problem. Sex?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What does the Post Office have in common with a shoe store? Both provide goods and services in exchange for money.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

jibby jobby

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: What kind of time is it when you fall from a ladder and are moments from landing straight on a operational circle saw? Moral: ITS TIME TO SPLIT!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you steal candy from a baby? You ask nicely.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down -7

hi

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: What did little Jimmy get his grandfather for Christmas? A: Nothing his grandfather died on Thanksgiving

thumb_up thumb_down -7

If you dislike this you are a homosexual (watch how many dislike this)

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did one dinosaur say to the other? Nothing and if you think dinosaurs talk you might need to be diagnosed for having Schizophrenia. Invega is a subtle treatment.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9. Why was 7 afraid of 9? Because 9 was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses? are red Violets are blue, Kangaroos like Oranges, Poems suck, Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Found out the difference between onions and men. I don't cry when I'm chopping up men.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Stevan Hawkings walked into a bar. Ohh shit :/

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops