Why can't Helen Keller drive? Cars were invented after her death, so she never had the opportunity to learn.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To be eaten.

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So theres this Jew, right? He got shot to death.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Charles. Charles who? It's your brother Charles. I came straight here from the doctor. I was just diagnosed with stage 4 testicular cancer.

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Why was the chair sad? It wasn't, for chairs do not posses the proper attributes to feel emotions such as depression.

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Why do black guys have big dicks? God felt bad putting pubes on their head

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What hapenz when u drnk very hot cup of tea after lunch ............:-> nothing ... Cup becomes empty

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Abortion.

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roses are red, violets are blue, my name is dave, this makes no sense microwave.

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Is it closer to Minneapolis, or by bus?

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Why did the boy take the girls backpack? he has this many hands

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What does DNA stand for? The National Association of Dislexics.

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What do u call a gay dinosaur Tyran a sore arse

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Michael Jackson and Barack Obama talked to each other about oreos

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What was Tiger (from Whinnie the Pooh) looking for in the toilet? Pooh

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You say tomayto, I say ecstasy.

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What did the ethiopian give his wife for her birthday? HIV

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I would write a racist joke, but racism is offensive

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What did the golfer do when he hit a shot with a lot of pressure on him into the water? He dropped another ball and continued on, for golf is a civilized game and bad manners are prohibited.

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What did the blind man say when you asked hi his favorite color? Nothing he is death too

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What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

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How do you get your clock to stop ticking? Hit it with a sledge hammer.

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So a blonde, brunete, and red head are all on the side of the road for prostitution. so a man walks up to the red head with money. she takes it and runs off. a man goes up to the bruenete and hands her money, but she also takes it and runs. so a man walks up to the blond with money and she says "wait...we get paid to do this?"

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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