Steven hawkings shook my hand

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Wife: "I suggest you check properly next time you lose your keys so that you find them quicker" Husband: "I suggest that next time I sit down and have a beer while I wait for Doc Martin and his time machine to give my keys back.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats annoying and won't go away?. Aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's got one leg and no eyes? A leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats worse than finding a joke in a cracker? finding an anti joke in a cracker.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Where does Hemech take a shit? The toilet's ass

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Vote this down and get DOXED

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

thumb_up thumb_down +1

dude ur such a bon of a sitch

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you kill a bunch of flies in one swat? Smack an African kid in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's fun and challenging? Writing an anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was Samuel L. Jackson so tired of those motherf***ing snakes on that motherf***ing plane? Because if snakes are loose on a plane, they might bite you.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the heroin addict get for Christmas? Aids from a used needle.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did Kony say to the children right before he took them Come with me you f******* n*****

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? i don't know, he hasn't unwrapped it yet

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Me: Ask me if I'm an orange. You: Are you an orange? Me: No

thumb_up thumb_down +1

black people

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Person 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you make an Indian explode? Push the red button

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call Mary in a wheelchair ... virgin mobile

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's black and blue, and read all over? The Merriam-Webster dictionary.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops