What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Presents.

How do you make a blond cry? Rape her and kill her family.

How do you know a baby is dead ? When the dog plays with it more!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely for no discernible reason as chickens are animals with poor reasoning skills.

a. why? b. because

What do you call a blond reading a book? A blond reading a book.

What do shoes and boxes have in common Both will get squashed if a washing machine lands on one of them

The Princess is in another castle

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks why the long face? The horse, unable to comprehend human speech, promptly craps on the floor and leaves.

whats small and sexually confused? YOu

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Keep talking shit bitch, and I'll come for you!

Steven hawkings shook my hand

Salt: "Hi there!" Slug: "AAÀAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!" *dies*

What do a plane and a flight attendant have in common? They're both going somewhere in their careers. Aside from the flight attendant.

Why was David sad? Because he got his head stuck in a window.

Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they're all dead.

What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

Wife: "I suggest you check properly next time you lose your keys so that you find them quicker" Husband: "I suggest that next time I sit down and have a beer while I wait for Doc Martin and his time machine to give my keys back.

your sister has 1 boob thats funny

whats annoying and won't go away?. Aids.

A terrorist gets on a plane. He has a pleasant flight and gets off in a new country.

some dude: weed is bad Other dude: then why do they prescribe it to people are you dumb or are you stupid

What's got one leg and no eyes? A leg.

A chicken walked into the bar...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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